Some people lack an internal chorus. That is, a set of operational modes with recongizably different intents and methods that describe their operation. "Voices" has a loaded context of whatever it is we're calling multiple personality disorder right now, and while I don't "hear" voices, I do have a a form of dialog going on when I'm thinking.
It may already be sounding odd to some, but anyone familiar with Richard Schwartz's Internal Family System will recognize the idea, and it resonates with me.
Part of that conversation recently has involved the recognition of one of those modes of operation as a deeply harsh self critic. A "voice" in my head is incredibly hostile towards me, and I find it talks me down from even trying to do things, and more often than I want to admit.
My wife (you might remember her) commented when I finally, after nearly fifty years, heard that voice clearly, said, "You would never treat anyone like that, so why do it to you?"
I find my life changing slowly but surely by keeping that context at the forefront of my thoughts. And one of those exchanges might be something you could use, too, so I thought I'd share it.
I'm a good writer. I built this space to share that part of myself, and while I'm not well read, that's OK; I'm about the doing of it. Actually being read is just a bonus. But even accepting that, there is another "freeze moment" that hit me today. "You're not building anything original."
Maybe. But then again, no one is; not any more. The reality is that there's no frontier left. Joseph Campbell taught us that there really are only so many stories, when you boil them down. And after nearly six centuries of the mass production of written word, the odds that you're going to come up with something truly, honestly distinct is unlikely.
But that's not really the point, is it? There is still a frontier, and it's in the synthesis.
By that, what I mean is that while I'm not building new ideas, what I can do is mix existing ideas into what interests me, and hopefully, also interests you. We are all doing this; I've seen Richard the Third before, but the '95 version with Ian MacKellen that set the stage as Nazi Germany was a truly fascinating mix of ideas that recast everything in a new light. Shakespeare himself did the same with much of his own work.
So, no, I'm not breaking new ground. Won't even try. But I might let you see the ground you've come through differently, and that would be enough.