Jesse's Blog

My current personal best is twelve minutes. I've been collecting these stories for a while now, but that's the best time, hands down.

Old Shenzhen is at it's center a huge rectangle. The northeast corner is Lianaushan Park, and before the states broke, it was beautiful; I've seen the pix. Now it's a tent city, and it tends to be the starting point most of the people my stories center on spring from. Danni didn't make it that far.

His sub-orbital came down at about 8am local, which means he shot forward twelve hours in forty minutes, the launcher in Boston Harbor kicking his tail out of the Commonwealth like a massive golf swing. That change in time can really mess with your head, but Danni, he's not going to get that far.

He steps off onto Xi Jinping Orbital Port, right where the old nature reserve used to be, and he's just ogling, man, cause his AR system isn't working, so he's surrounded by Chinese everything; people, language, words, and even for OId Shenzhen, the Gweilo Stink Eye. They never forget anything, man, and even now that the States ain't United, and the Quiet Invasion of the 20's washed out most of the whites, you still aren't really human here.

So he's easy meat, and Fung Ku picked him out like an apple off the tree. He gives the nod, and off they go.

Danni is barely moving, tapping the side of his head like his AR's going to work again. Fung Ku knows the con's off if they can't communicate, so he scratches his ear.

Forty seconds later, another gweilo taps Danni on the shoulder, and in English, says "Hello, sir. Having trouble?" Danni looks him up and down; the guy's dressed like one of the attendants working the counters down the run, so he says "Yes, hello. My AR doesn't seem to be working."

"Ah," says our seeming savior, "what ret are you with?"

"What what?"

"Sorry, keiretsu. What carrier are you a subscriber of?"

"Oh, I'm ABCIA."

"I see, yes, the old Google. Yes, they don't offer service here, but we can offer sir twenty four hours with Huawei Mobile."

Danni asks "What'll that cost me?"

"Is sir's currency still from home?"

"Yes."

Mr. Uniform both says "That's seven thousand dollars, sir," and also gives a subtle hand signal. Danni says this is cheap, and Uniform asks to see his ticket stub, and Danni passes it over. Danni, you see, is the type who never reads the documentation, and it's going to cost him. Seven K isn't bad, but the moron already covered this in his ticket getting here; it's complimentary. Uniform acts like he's processing something, but he's just pulling the sign up data off the stub. They bump fists, which authorizes the payment from Danni to Uniform. This is just gravy, and Uniform (who's handle is Ge Men, or Buddy) is going to be drinking on this little nugget tonight.

Uniform says, "If sir will just look here," and holds up a sheet of e-ink with a QR. Danni does, and his gear shows him an accept/reject dialog. It looks totally legit, cause it is, and he accepts it. Immediately, all of the hanzi around him flips into English, and all of the conversations around him are understandable. Mysterious threatening high speed gobbledygook suddenly becomes complaining about feet, and lines, and How Are Yous, and all the same boring normal stuff we all do. "Thanks!" Danni says.

Ge Man holds it together and says "Quite welcome," and drifts off, looking at the folks coming off the walkway like he's off to his next person to help. He's not, but he's not going to tease the geese.

Mai Meng sees this and starts moving. Now, if you don't know Mai Meng, then you know her type, right, cause she's just this perfect happy porcelain doll, pretty in a way that shouts young and innocent, bubbly. On the outside. I know her, and she can break you in half. Under that porcelain is spring steel, and she doesn't do it for the money; she hates gweilo, and this is for her what fox hunting was for old Brit fops centuries back. She's coming back with a pelt, and Danni looks promising.

She's carrying a glass dragon.

If you have never seen this thing, then it is first off huge; three feet tall, a glass rendition of a dragon exiting it's transparent spherical base and wrapping round it, body blue and green, and breathing a red bolt of flame splashing down round the sides. It is intricate, and really quite pretty.

So she's angling at Danni, sure she's caught his eye, when Zan comes running and slams into Danni.

Zan.. I don't mind saying, is one of the most irritating human beings you will ever meet. And the thing is, it's not because of who he is; he's actually a pretty good guy, and wickedly funny when you get him going, but to look at him, you're going to immediately judge him as this skinny, nerdy dork. He's skinny with huge front teeth, and he'll tell you himself he looks like a hoe. When he's working the Xi Jinping, he also smells.

"I'm sorry.." Zan says in that whiny high pitched voice of his, his words stretching out and dragging. "Please, paaaardon, sir." He starts brushing Danni off, and as he's doing it, he's taking grips on Danni's clothes, and pulling at him a little.

"It's fine, it's fine, hey, let go," says Danni, and he has to kind of pull himself away from Zan, turning.. right into Mai Meng.

Crash.

That glass dragon is in a thousand pieces, and Mai Meng's face is one of the greatest pieces of improv acting you will ever see. Mai Meng means 'acting cute', and that is not hard for her, but to watch that naturally happy smile come apart is like watching the dragon shatter, only slower. Her eyes water, and she starts to cry, softly.

"Ma'am," says Danni, beat red, "I am so terribly sorry! I was trying to get away from.." he trails off as he turns. Zan is gone like a cool breeze.

I remember these old US things called mousetraps. Weird little setup; cheese on a lever, lever holds a stick, stick holds back a huge arm on a strong spring. Mouse moves the cheese, lever drops the stick, and the arm snaps shut on the base of the trap, breaking the neck of our mouse. At this moment, that stick is in the air, and Fung Ku steps in.

"My lady," says Fung Ku, "was this what I think it was?"

"Shi," says Mai Meng, "it was, and this .. this .." she waves at Danni, "has just ended my life!" She cries.

"What.. what was.."

"The thing you just destroyed was the 2072 Dragon," says Fung Ku, his voice like thunder, "bound for the Port gallery for President Zhu Chiba's visit tomorrow."

It comes crashing down on our man Danni that Fung Ku (that's either Cool Bird, or Merciless bird if you're on ABCIA too) looks, acts, and smells a whole lot like a cop. "This young lady," Ku goes on, "is an indentured servant of President Zhu's household. Do you have any idea what will become of her if she cannot recompense her master?"

For a native, Fung Ku is really, really tall, and he's just towering over Danni at this point. His fingers are bunching, and in his shoes, I'd have been pretty nervous. Danni looks like he's going to wet himself. "What.. what was it worth?"

Now I've watched this con happen a good hundred times, no lie, and this is without a doubt the hardest bit. Ku has got a cash register for a heart, and I can hear the old relays clicking over as he sizes his target up. Good shoes, expensive glasses but the prescription's old based on the slight bunching round the eyes. Claim ticket says three check bags, which means he can cover the cost, and that he's here to stay, so his money's all available to him.

"Thirty Five million." There is no hesitation.. I'm telling you, Ku's an artist.

Danni goes white as a sheet. He's got it, I can see it in his body language, but that's all he's got. This is a tough moment; it's a contest of yizhili, or will power, but Danni came in to this at a deficit already, and I watch him fold as he holds his knuckles out to Mai Meng.

Mai Meng glances between Danni and Fung Ku like she just can't believe that she's being spared, and hesitantly reaches her fist out like a shy dog trying to be petted while also turning it's belly.. closer, closer.. She's laughing inside like a maniac; this is the moment she's been waiting for, and with that light tap, she wins, her prize in the bag.

She's bowing, bowing, thank you, thank you so much, all smiles now, and I know each bow is risking pushing that laugh out of her, but she holds it in.

I glance at my watch, look at the landing time on the sub orbital that dropped Danni off. Twelve minutes. As Fung Ku stands watching Danni walk away, and Mai Meng heads off, I follow Danni. Ku won't see the next bit, but I do; Danni rounds the bend to the exit terminals, the tube station leading in to New South Shenzhen, Old North Shenzhen, and the row of stalls. Wait for it... wait for it...

Danni nearly passes it, he's so wrapped up in thinking about his next move, but that steady metal noise from his right begs his attention, to the second to last stall. The one with the Glass Printer. The one with all of the Chinese Zodiac statues.. including a good ten dragons. Twenty thousand old dollars each.

Fung Ku's not a cop. I am, and after Danni comes apart, after a while, he sees me, all about what just happened. I collect his info, his feed recording of Ku, Mai, Zan, and promise him I'll file a report. I will, too, and Ku is going to cut me in for five million to lose it.

Twelve minutes to run the melon drop on a gweilo.